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IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW: IOWA TO FACE SOUTH CAROLINA IN OUTBACK BOWL

Clickclack_medium
I'd Click Her Clack

We finally have confirmation of what we've known for two weeks: Iowa has accepted an invitation to face the South Carolina Gamecocks in the Outback Bowl.  Bienvenido a Tampa.

The announcement came at approximately 5:00 CST, almost a full hour later than planned.  The incomparable Jon Miller has reported the delay was due to indecision by the Citrus (suck it, Capital One) Bowl, which apparently was seriously considering choosing the Hawks over Michigan State. What Jon doesn't know, however, is that Outback Bowl reps spent much of that hour on the phone with the BHGP staff.  In the wake of last year's PR disaster and subsequent MANCOTT, Outback reps wanted to guarantee this year's festivities would be far more successful.  We're not allowed to discuss the negotiations, but we can say this: A lifetime supply of Bloomin' Onions is enough to buy our silence.

As it is, OSU has apparently bought earned a BCS spot, likely at the Sugar Bowl.  MSU will play  Georgia in the Citrus Bowl.  LTP has confirmed Northwestern will face Missouri in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Alamo Bowl (if you want to gloat, might I suggest sending an e-card?)

We'll have far more on South Carolina in the weeks to come, but as a quick primer:  They dropped their last two games by a combined score of 87-20, they just fired their offensive line and quarterback coaches, they aren't going to replace either coach until after the bowl game, and their sometimes-starting quarterback nearly got OPS fired.  If anyone ever deserved a January 1 bowl bid, it's this team.


UPDATE: Wisconsin-Florida State in the Champs Sports BowlMinnesota-Kansas in the Insight.  No word yet on the Motor City Bowl, which was supposed to be between the MAC champ and the #7 Big Ten team but lost both tie-ins when Buffalo opted for the International Bowl and the BXI ran out of teams.  I'm hoping beyond hope for Notre Dame-Ball State.

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We've got a couple of weeks

Let’s change that “nearly” to “definitely”.
Given the material to work with, anything that doesn’t result in the FCC getting involved will be a disappointment.

by chitownhawkeye on Dec 7, 2008 6:08 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Funny quote from LTP:

It sounds like something you would read on BHGP, except I think he’s serious:

Congratulations Alamo Bowl for securing possibly the most intriguing non-BCS bowl game match-up loaded with storylines with two top 25 teams.

Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon....

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Dec 7, 2008 6:21 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

He admits they

are likely going to be double digit underdogs, but right now, I don’t care about the name calling from last week. I want them to win. I want every team in the B10 to win. The conference needs it.

Oh. And I want ND to get crushed. They’re terrible and are rewarded with a trip to Hawaii? Fuck that.

by chitownhawkeye on Dec 7, 2008 6:31 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Agreed

The catfight was fun for awhile but got to be exhausting. And yes, ND eats shit.

Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon....

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Dec 7, 2008 6:45 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Purple Kool-Aid

Tastes DELICIOUS!!! That being said, I wish NU the best and hope they can pull off the win in San Antonio.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Dec 7, 2008 7:13 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Good thing we eat the SEC for breakfast

Sometimes it gives us heartburn. But mostly we’re cool for lunch.

by ABRA CABOOYA on Dec 7, 2008 7:07 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

ND is going to Hawaii

I was with you, the prospects on continuing their losing streak to a MAC team would have been fun.

by Kevin HD on Dec 7, 2008 7:39 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Sweet

Can’t wait for the Cock jokes. Unless you guys are too mature for that.

Go get ’em, Hawkeyes!

JoePa for governor

by ReadingRambler on Dec 7, 2008 8:05 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

"Unless you guys are too mature for that."

In the history of BHGP, please find me one example where anyone exhibited this “maturity” you speak of.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Dec 7, 2008 8:37 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I think he linked to it.

Oh. Wait. That was the smelley cock story. Sorry, I was confused.

by chitownhawkeye on Dec 7, 2008 9:15 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I thought they handled the sexual assault allegations and the accusation of horribly botched handling by the university with remarkable maturity.

Might be the only time it’s ever happened, but there is that one at least.

by SpartanDan on Dec 8, 2008 4:34 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Oh I remember that discussion

Thats when I didn’t read any of the articles

by Duez I say on Dec 8, 2008 9:30 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Right.

And jokes about old balls. Because if there’s one thing the Old Ball Coach knows about, it is old balls.

by telepathetic on Dec 8, 2008 7:42 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Hawks in Tampa

Great to see the Hawks going to Tampa. The Cats deserved the spot, but the Hawks have a history of showing up and are a lot better for TV, and that’s what matters in the bowl biz.

by Disinterested Par-tay on Dec 7, 2008 8:46 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

In case anyone didn't care to look

And really – why should anyone care about a bowl game in Detroit? But the Motor City Bowl stuck with the MAC in C.Mich and picked up Sun Belt powerhouse that is Florida Atlantic.

That’s right, the BigXI lost out on it’s final bowl tie-in to FAU. May the (further) mockery Zook and DickRod commence…

by IcersGuy on Dec 7, 2008 11:06 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Thanks for the e-card, my condolences as well...

Sorry you all had (have?) to live in Iowa. There’s a reason why Iowa fans travel well.

by benji929 on Dec 7, 2008 11:33 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Congrats on the Outback

Now go out there and kick some SEC ass.

by RotoJeff on Dec 8, 2008 12:03 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Welcome To Tampa:

A strip joint on every corner, a pawn shop on every block, and a fat chic on every Huffy!
Hellooooo, New Year!

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 12:34 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

And HawkFanInBoston

by Duez I say on Dec 8, 2008 7:46 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

[humps a parking meter]

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 9:59 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

careful

things that are wet stick to metal.

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 10:01 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Well, by way of technicality, he's right

I was only using “Oops Pow Surprise” since ’07.

But it’s more like Adam J, dry-humping since 1993.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 10:26 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

You know what I miss?

The uncomplicated affection of a young lady of loose morals and wet mouth.
That’s what I miss.

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 8:34 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

you write like you're fat

Just sayin’

My dad has a condo right off the beach in Tampa (actually St Petersburg)….WHO IS WITH ME????

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 8:42 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I'm in

Pick me up on your way down there

by Duez I say on Dec 8, 2008 9:19 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

done.

We’ll all boozing out of my mothers Waterford crystal vases.

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 10:00 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

nothing says classy like

Nice vase of concentrated oj and hawkeye vodka

by three and out the kok story on Dec 8, 2008 10:02 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

but of course

Also, it must be drank with pinky out, Three Sheets style

by three and out the kok story on Dec 8, 2008 10:05 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I dunno

All this “classy” bidness just doesn’t feel right to me.

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 10:18 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

they must

If not, just fill up with some E85 from the local QuickTrip, its pretty much the same

by three and out the kok story on Dec 8, 2008 10:06 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Well

Something has to give drank a run for its money
Purple Drank

by chitownhawkeye on Dec 8, 2008 10:25 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Shit.

I thought your link would lead me to ‘the drank’.

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 10:31 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Sorry about the poor placement

Truly terrifying, but according to wiki “Hawkeye Vodka is the #3 best selling liquor in Iowa, with 46,329 cases sold in 2008 as of September 1”

by three and out the kok story on Dec 8, 2008 10:35 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

proving once again...

that Hawkeye fans are THE AWESOME.

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 10:36 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

my fav:
Wow, I haven’t had that stuff since my brokest days at ISU. We used to buy it and then write “**** the” above the Hawkeye. It really is some brutal stuff though.

Those are some bad mother****ers right there!

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 10:52 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

The money quote, presented without context:

"I hesitate to even ask this, but… your pee isn’t yellow? Unless it’s practically clear (that’s how you know when your body is properly hydrated, in case you’re interested), I’d suggest going to a doctor. And hey- there’s nothign wrong with a good "golden" stream, right? There’s a good reason human beings’ insides are red! "

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 10:44 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I love this

The busiest topic on cyclonefanatic.com is “Hawks goin to the Outback”

by Duez I say on Dec 8, 2008 11:15 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

It's not like they can talk about their own bowl.

But yeah, being a cyclone fan is basically like being a not-Iowa fan. No real reason to cheer your own team, so you cheer against big brother.

by rockyh on Dec 8, 2008 4:00 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Sharp-eyed viewers will notice something

There on the right, partially obscured, is Hawkeye Gin. What kind of sick fucks are they?

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 10:33 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Just drank some yesterday, actually

It’s not Tanqeray, but it still tastes like pine poison, so it’s aiight.

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 10:35 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

It's a good thing...

that Buddy Light did not discover Hawkeye Gin during my tenure. G+T= Death of BL

by Buddy Light on Dec 8, 2008 11:01 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Remember that time when

we drank Hawkeye vodka and Mountain Dew in Rick’s place then I allegedly blacked out and allegedly left my ATM card in the machine and allegedly punched holes in the ceiling tiles and allegedly puked on my alleged floor?

Were you around for that or was it just me, Dane, and JD?

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 11:04 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

That might have been the

Osco Brand Vodka night… But yes… I was around that night. (or should I say those nights)

by Buddy Light on Dec 8, 2008 3:44 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Yes, you're right.

I forgot Osco even made a vodka. I’m not sure how those responsible for that unholy liquor weren’t jailed for life.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 6:26 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Worse ways to go

Ah G&T. Best times I don’t remember.

by chitownhawkeye on Dec 8, 2008 11:22 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

As a very poor college student

I am unique qualified to tell you that yes, yes they do still make Hawkeye Vodka. It is exactly as wonderful as you remember it.

by NorseHawk on Dec 8, 2008 10:41 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I don't think so

Most of my friends from the Cities had never heard of it until they got down here. I can ship you a year’s supply though. I’ll need, like, 15 bucks.

by NorseHawk on Dec 8, 2008 10:49 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

God DAMN it, guys

How many times do I have to explain this? BHGP is not to be used for transporting deadly weapons across state lines! It’s a fucking felony!

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 10:52 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Be happy Gonzales is gone

if he wasn’t, you would both be on a one way, expenses paid, trip to Cuba for transportation of a chemical weapon

by three and out the kok story on Dec 8, 2008 10:55 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

hmmm

I will open up a bar and only serve Hawkeye vodka, gin, and rum, and I will have a portrait of OPS above the bar.

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 10:55 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Only on one condition

You have to name the place “Honky’s.”

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 10:58 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Honky's

Can it please have a fake putting green in it and all of the TVs tuned to CNBC?

by Buddy Light on Dec 8, 2008 11:03 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

shit yeah

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 11:04 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

whoa whoa whoa

Isn’t this my bar?

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 11:07 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Hostile corporate takeover

It’s what honkies do best.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 11:07 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

ok

then you’re serving drinks in booty shorts.

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 11:10 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

SOLD

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 11:11 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

and everytime Blondie comes on the juke box

YOU’RE GETTING ON THE BAR AND SPRAYING THE CROWD WITH WATER.

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 11:12 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I’d like to officially put my shares in White Honky’s up for sale.

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 11:14 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Water?

What happened to the champagne? Every day is Dre Day at White Honky’s!

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 11:27 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I prefer "White Honky's"

The redundancy just sings to me. Also, it will be in Minneapolis and everyone there is stark white, so it’ll be good for business.

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 11:08 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Oh, and instead of baby changing stations

We’ll have sex swings in the handicapped stalls.
And stadium seating.

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 11:09 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

wait what?

What bar do you go to has a baby changing station?

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 11:11 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Don't change the subject

and it’s called Legends. I was there yesterday and there were fuckin babies everywhere. They have 3 kinds of formula on the menu.
House is Similac.

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 11:13 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Look, asshole, just because I have a baby

Doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to have a little fun. Little asshole, trying to ruin everything. I swear to god if he shits himself one more time while I’m trying to close the deal with the hot waitress, I’m dropping him on the doorstep of a Nebraska hospital.

by NorseHawk on Dec 8, 2008 11:15 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I don't think you appreciate how hard that is

Believe me, I’ve tried. Why can’t people just have sex on the baby changing table? Way easier.

by NorseHawk on Dec 8, 2008 11:20 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Solid point

The stadium seating stays.

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 11:24 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Your baby has no rights

Can’t you just leave it at home? It’s not like the squishy little mofo even watches the game. Babies see in 2D anyway, like dogs.

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 11:20 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

A give that little shit free access to the liquor cabinet and PPV?

Not likely, bud. Plus I think there’s, like, laws against abandoning them a stuff. anyway, it’s cool, one shot of Jack usually puts him out of the night. Fucking lightweight, there’s no way he’s actually mine.

by NorseHawk on Dec 8, 2008 11:22 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I'll drink it

but only if it’s on tap

by chitownhawkeye on Dec 8, 2008 11:25 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Tall boys

with grippers on the sides for their fat little boneless fingers.

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 11:32 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Whatcha expect

if you were at the Legends I know of in west-suburan DSM. I believe the residency requirement for that area is 3 kids under the age 4.

by three and out the kok story on Dec 8, 2008 11:25 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

he writes all of a sudden?

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Oops Pow Surprise on Dec 8, 2008 9:22 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Write, bum rush the blog that booms
I’m killin’ yo brain like a poisonous mushroom

by jebushchrist on Dec 8, 2008 9:49 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

How the hell

did this become a BHGP reunion special? What, are we getting the original cast back together to try and boost ratings?

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Dec 8, 2008 9:53 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

no

I’m just trying to boost my popularity in time once again for Marchifornication 2009.

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 9:58 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Please welcome...Don Knotts!

What kind of a reunion special would it be without Barney Fife, back from Capitol City?

Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."

by Hawkeye State on Dec 8, 2008 10:23 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

well, it's not just a special.

I’m about to become a full-time student again, so I’ll plenty of time to stalk all of you.

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 10:26 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Outback Bowl Tix

What is the current ticket situation for the Outback Bowl? All the good seats on the Iowa side are listed on Stub Hub $250+++. Any good seats still available for a more reasonable price?

by Disinterested Par-tay on Dec 8, 2008 10:56 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Speaking of kids

The world should brace itself for J Juniors:

by Duez I say on Dec 8, 2008 1:43 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

How do you guys find this shit?

Is nothing from Leman’s life sacred anymore?

by Argulor on Dec 8, 2008 1:48 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Easy

Google Image Search for “J Leman”

by Duez I say on Dec 8, 2008 2:20 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Didn't that pic

get posted about four weeks ago? I swear I’ve seen this picture before (and not just because I was hiding in the bushes during the Leman nuptials stalkingobserving the joyous groom)

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Dec 8, 2008 3:42 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

It was a commercial break during the Illinois game

Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."

by Hawkeye State on Dec 8, 2008 3:55 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

DUDE

He didn’t tell me he was “involved” when we conversated on Facebook.

by dmbmeg on Dec 8, 2008 3:24 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

He told me he was involved when he got that restraining order

but not even the law can stop my love of Leman

Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."

by Hawkeye State on Dec 8, 2008 3:55 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

long time reader, first time commenter

just wanted to say hi there and go hawks . . . and go cocks.

before you beat me up let me explain. i was born in cedar rapids and am a huge hawks fan. i have a ridiculous number of cousins and uncles/aunts still living there. and my grandparents. but i live in the dirty and went to usc (not the university of spoiled children in southern cali). i’ll be at the game cheering for both sides. my two favorite teams! all year i pull for the hawks and i read this blog – love it, funny as shit. will be hard to read your sarcasm applied to one of my favorite teams but i’ll power through.

it will be great to see greene and stanzi against some of the gamecocks. mckinley, brinkley, cook – both e and j, should be quite a defensive battle. fortunately smelley should not see playing time (please god please) as he would just love to throw the ball to the hawks.

i haven’t searched yet – when was the last time the hawks played the cocks? ever?

thanks and i guess let the lambasting begin . . .

go hawks! go cocks!

by cockhawk on Dec 8, 2008 3:56 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

wow. i think this will be a hell of a game. gamecocks are comfortable in the outback bowl; beat ohio state there two years in a row [semi] recently. can’t wait. both teams have great fans so tailgating before [and after] should be a fucking blast.

by cockhawk on Dec 8, 2008 4:19 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Hawks have been to the OBB more and more recently than the Cocks.

by Disinterested Par-tay on Dec 8, 2008 6:13 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I like your username

but I loathe your bipartisan cheering

by Duez I say on Dec 8, 2008 9:33 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Will OPS allow bipartisanism to flourish for Mr. Cock?

by txhawkeye on Dec 8, 2008 10:06 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

You need to pick a side and STICK with it!

Sincerely,

Jesus McSatan

If it's not too much trouble, search your soul--and then ask yourself if maybe I might have a point.

by The Director on Dec 8, 2008 9:54 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

He's post partisan.

How fancy. In my book cockhawk, you’re a cock. Now, go down to Tampa and act like one!

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
- George Rogers, one-time South Carolina RB

by StoopsMyAss on Dec 8, 2008 10:59 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

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