WRESTLING NEWS: #1 Iowa Beats #2 ISU, 20-15

Iowa faced Iowa State in their annual wrestling meet on Saturday, and the Hawkeyes defeated ISU, 20-15. This recap, as with all other wrestling updates on BHGP, has been written by somebody with an IQ of 83 and who learned everything about the sport from watching WWF as a child.

What a thrilling game of wrestling! ISU said that they were gonna win, but then Iowa was all, no, we're gonna win, but then ISU said maybe you won't talk so much about winning after THIS! and then they hit Iowa with a steel chair.

But then the ref was like fine, we're gonna do this, and they rang the bell and it was ON!

So first Iowa was all, WHAM, and they punched ISU in the face a few times, and the announcer was all, this is madness, someone make sure they're following the rules! But then ISU whipped Iowa into a corner and ran at them and elbowed them like right in the chest. OUCH. Then it says here "Brent Metcalf tech. fall Mitch Mueller." What the hell is that? Anyway, ISU got onto the top rope, but Iowa recovered, and before ISU could jump on Iowa, we punched them in the balls! The crowd was really happy about that. Then we did the Stone Cold Stunner and pinned them! Iowa won that one, but the match was only just beginning.


EXTREME ACTION!

 

After that sweet face kick, Iowa won the match and got named Intercontinental Champion of the World! The Hawkeyes will fight against Razor Ramon to defend the belt next week.

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