Smelley Cock Watch: December 31

by Adam Jacobi on Dec 31, 2008 8:00 AM CST

As our thousands of devoted readers remember, BHGP was first introduced to the Smelley Cock in early September, when OPS was still writing for FanHouse. We haven't forgotten the magic of that cheap, sophomoric joke, and we are committed to beating that horse back to life. Thus, in the weeks leading up to the Outback Bowl, BHGP will provide daily updates on what the Smelley Cock smells like.

Today, the Smelley Cock smells like:

The single most overrated band of all time

Interesting choice, Smelley Cock. But how did you... it was like 13 years ago... oh god, Courtney Love is right behind you! She's got another shotgun! Run, Smelley Cock, run!!!

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Led Zeppelin is clearing its throat conspicuously...

"Sweet lady fate, why dost thou piss on me so?"

by bluearmadillo on Dec 31, 2008 9:22 AM CST reply actions

At least Led Zeppelin made sense.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Dec 31, 2008 10:39 AM CST up reply actions

Wait wait wait

Look, I love them as much as anyone, but you can’t attack Nirvana for not making sense less than a week after posting a Pearl Jam video.

Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."

by Patrick Vint on Dec 31, 2008 11:04 AM CST up reply actions

In case of Stairway, use fire.

"Sweet lady fate, why dost thou piss on me so?"

by bluearmadillo on Dec 31, 2008 11:15 AM CST up reply actions

The Who is looking away and covering its collective eyes from your steely glare...

Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."

by Patrick Vint on Dec 31, 2008 9:25 AM CST reply actions

That's the biggest exaggeration ever.

Pavement or Sleater-Kinney.

by telepathetic on Dec 31, 2008 9:30 AM CST reply actions

Overrated

If overrated means changing the music industry forever.

by jebushchrist on Dec 31, 2008 11:41 AM CST reply actions

Like Cobain, it has yet to recover.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Dec 31, 2008 11:47 AM CST up reply actions

The music industry may be in pieces--

like his head—but that’s because of the internet. Cobain ran off bands like NKOTB, Skid Row, and Poison, forging the way for actual artists like Soundgarden, Smashing Pumpkins, and Sonic Youth.

by jebushchrist on Dec 31, 2008 11:54 AM CST up reply actions

You don't like POISON?!?!?!?!

B…b…but Bret Michaels has his own TV show, and is getting a ridiculous amount of hookers to clean up their act just for a shot at his heart (read: money). Ooooooooooh, waitaminute, those are some clever hookers.

Plus, he’s in Guitar Hero 3. You have to be a big deal if they put you in a video game, RIGHT?

¿Quieres chiclets?

by The Mexican't on Dec 31, 2008 12:29 PM CST up reply actions

Actually, I don't mind Poison

they’re better than fucking Metallica. My point was, Nirvana made it possible for songwriters to get signed, as opposed to beauty school dropouts (like Poison).

by jebushchrist on Dec 31, 2008 12:33 PM CST up reply actions

I wasn't entirely serious.

Bret Michaels is clearly a jackass. I just couldn’t use NKOTB because they’ve somehow managed to make a miraculous comeback as FORTY YEAR OLD MEN. Now, those are some clever fucks.

“Couldn’t make it as an actor? Fuck it, let’s see how many girls in their mid-twenties we can fool into seeing us dance and sing on stage. It’ll be glorrrrrrrrrious.”

¿Quieres chiclets?

by The Mexican't on Jan 1, 2009 12:56 AM CST up reply actions

Where's the hate coming from?

I was in high school when Nevermind came out. Suddenly it became cool to listen to real music made by real people with real instruments—Mudhoney, Hair of the Dog, Sonic Youth, Soundgarden and so on.

"Sweet lady fate, why dost thou piss on me so?"

by bluearmadillo on Dec 31, 2008 12:19 PM CST reply actions