Smelley Cock Watch: December 29

by Adam Jacobi on Dec 30, 2008 12:45 PM CST in Iowa Hawkeyes Football

As our thousands of devoted readers remember, BHGP was first introduced to the Smelley Cock in early September, when OPS was still writing for FanHouse. We haven't forgotten the magic of that cheap, sophomoric joke, and we are committed to beating that horse back to life. Thus, in the weeks leading up to the Outback Bowl, BHGP will provide daily updates on what the Smelley Cock smells like.

Today, the Smelley Cock smells like:

Failure

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Oh Missouri, you almost redeemed yourself for voting for McCain last month.

Meanwhile, the word is that police were pulling tens, nay, dozens of Armani-clad corpses out of the River Walk this morning.

"Sweet lady fate, why dost thou piss on me so?"

by bluearmadillo on Dec 30, 2008 1:05 PM CST reply actions

My favorite part

besides the 548 shots of the Daniels family was the good folks at the Alamo Bowl had purple seats. That way all the empty seats looked like they were jNW fans. When they showed the overhead views it almost looked like a split crowd of gold and purple that way.

My least favorite part was a tossup between the gruesome replays of the injury to Wootton, the obsessive worship of Maclin (we get it…he’s fast), and the repeated mistakenly calling Ba-SHAY as BATCH-er by the announcers.

Great game though. Gotta love Bowl Game Overtimes. I actually hate the Big XII more than I hate jNW so I was rooting for them by default.

I read a report today saying someone spotted Chase Daniels in an Armani suit. I’m not implying he was on the take…just saying he really looked like crap in the game (even Jake Christensen was at home wondering who the hell he was throwing it to) and now he is Mr. GQ Armani…and jNW managed to cover the spread…hmmm…

Go Hawks!

by CUNKNNK on Dec 30, 2008 2:47 PM CST reply actions

Wait

If Daniels was rocking the Armani, does that mean he’s actually a jNW alum? Suddenly, his less-than-stellar performance makes much more sense.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Dec 30, 2008 4:02 PM CST up reply actions

Wait again...

….I think I just saw the DANIELS family ring the opening bell today at the NYSE.

I also saw them on LENO last night, and in the audience of a Billy Mays infomercial this morning, too.

My dream is that, during the Outback Bowl, they show the Daniels family inexplicably sitting in the stands, texting and cursing and hiding their eyes every time a suspenseful moment passes during the game.

Parlay that 15 min of fame, Daniels family!

If it's not too much trouble, search your soul--and then ask yourself if maybe I might have a point.

by The Director on Dec 30, 2008 6:35 PM CST up reply actions

That's what I meant. I was referring to a past thread where a jNW fan likened jNW alum to the cool guy in Armani with the hot gf.

"Sweet lady fate, why dost thou piss on me so?"

by bluearmadillo on Dec 30, 2008 9:42 PM CST up reply actions

Nice to see you're still thinking of us.

nfm

by pummer on Dec 31, 2008 2:05 AM CST up reply actions

Nobody forgets an Armani suit!

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Dec 31, 2008 7:36 AM CST up reply actions

Mendy's? Are we going to Mendy's?

I’ll just have the soup. Save the dinner for some other time.

/Bania’d

Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."

by Patrick Vint on Dec 31, 2008 9:23 AM CST up reply actions

Shockingly...

There were more NU fans at the game than Missouri. And that “shockingly” part is serious… I was shocked.

by Closso on Dec 30, 2008 11:51 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs

Purple seats

Don’t count as “fans”.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Dec 31, 2008 12:41 AM CST up reply actions

I know!

That’s why it was so shocking!

by Closso on Dec 31, 2008 1:20 AM CST up reply actions

Attendance

I know this is a little late, but I have to have somewhere I can go to gloat. For all the talk of attendance numbers around here when you guys were picked over NU, this is a fun comparison:

Outback Bowl— 55,117
Alamo Bowl— 55,986

Northwestern sold all of its tickets.

All I’m saying is, maybe the “Northwestern can’t draw a crowd” thing isn’t quite as true as you all wish it were.

Now, as a Northwestern student, I’ll be absolutely honest— I like Iowa. Iowa City is beautiful, and I applied to the University of Iowa as a strong back-up (as in, if I didn’t get into Northwestern, I would have been perfectly happy going to Iowa). I know people at Iowa, and I like them a lot.

But really, this Northwestern mocking and Northwestern hate is getting silly. Armani suits? “Smelley Cock”? Really? You think that makes you look clever?

And one final complaint— Iowa is the only away game I’ve ever gone to where I saw the marching band get booed. Guys, that just makes you look dumb. It’s the band.

Thanks for letting me have my self-righteous moment.

by PCarnival on Jan 9, 2009 9:36 AM CST up reply actions