Bobby Bowden Knows Who Would Be Simply Perfect For Iowa State

I'm sorely tempted to copy the entire article from today's Rag, because it's so sadly hilarious, but that would be very bad blogging and nobody wants to see that. But do click this article, because schadenfreude is an awesome, awesome thing. Tell you what, here are the most hilarious parts:

Why not his son, Terry?

everybody's scared of him, (but) it's not because he's lost any of his knowledge

Terry Bowden, 52, hasn't coached since the 1998 season but

West Virginia, his alma mater, although the Mountaineers eventually went with Bill Stewart

the younger Bowden declined to comment about the Iowa State job but deferred to the following statement:

"A little over a year ago, I made a decision to get back into coaching. And, although I never left football, my heart and my soul tell me it's time to leave the booth and get back on the sideline."

Terry Bowden has never coached in the Big 12

I've said, 'Look, these people aren't giving you the time of day right now because you've been out of it for so long, but there's a job somewhere for you.' Knowing Terry, he's searching behind every rock."

Sean Keeler, for not spraying LOLs like buckshot into this article, you are BHGP's King Of All The World. Your powers are legendary and your wisdom vast, and tonight we roast a goat in your honor.