Smelley Cock Watch: December 15

by Adam Jacobi on Dec 15, 2008 11:30 AM CST in Iowa Hawkeyes Football

As our thousands of devoted readers remember, BHGP was first introduced to the Smelley Cock in early September, when OPS was still writing for FanHouse. We haven't forgotten the magic of that cheap, sophomoric joke, and we are committed to beating that horse back to life. Thus, in the weeks leading up to the Outback Bowl, BHGP will provide daily updates on what the Smelley Cock smells like.

Today, the Smelley Cock smells like:

Cedar Rapids

Aw, awwww. This is nasty. It's like a Swanson TV dinner farted. Smelley Cock, why do you do this?!

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Comments

Ooooh, Man.....

I thought we were safe after Patrick Ewing, but apparently it can get worse.

"I'm not doing any good back here."

by Hawkaloogie on Dec 15, 2008 11:38 AM CST reply actions

Could be worse ...

Sioux City

by Black and Gold on Dec 15, 2008 12:17 PM CST reply actions

Agreed

I would rather smell Quaker Oats than John Morrell Hot Dogs

by Duez I say on Dec 15, 2008 2:51 PM CST up reply actions

I think you mean: Sewer City.

That’s what us Omahans call it anyhow.

Viva la nuance! Reading comprehension rules!!!

by tyger1147 on Dec 15, 2008 3:39 PM CST up reply actions

You are correct

But it is spelled Siouxer

by Duez I say on Dec 15, 2008 5:37 PM CST up reply actions

DO NOT INSULT

the greatest city in Iowa!

What other city in Iowa can boast of a miniature Washington Monument?

So they decided to put the John Morrell plant AND the sewage treatment plant next to the Interstate. Who hasn’t made mistakes.

by CapitalHawk on Dec 15, 2008 9:06 PM CST up reply actions

I can't drive by Cedar Rapids on 380

without choking… how are we going to handle 60 minutes on the field with Smelley Cock when he smells like that? We are doomed

by shada's revenge on Dec 15, 2008 12:25 PM CST reply actions

"The fifth season is a time to enjoy life, to enjoy the other four seasons."

I also like Sioux City’s motto: “Successful Surprising Sioux City”.

I’ve never been to Iowa. “Surprising” is good, right?

Throw it to Zug!

by ReadingRambler on Dec 15, 2008 12:37 PM CST reply actions

When it comes to Sioux City?

Absolutely not.

We’ve long said Cedar Rapids 5th season is Stink, and it lasts 12 months a year. Not clever by any means, but a truer statement cannot be found.

I do have more rhymes than Jamaica got mangos.

by LuebkeSwims! on Dec 15, 2008 1:05 PM CST up reply actions

Sioux City's "surprises"

They hide five undomesticated lions in hotel rooms throughout the course of a year. Not the best use of city funds IMO, but they insist on it.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Dec 15, 2008 1:59 PM CST up reply actions

Sioux City has more "surprises"

Like a Purina Dog Chow plant. It also smells lovely.

And a very large stockyards that used to stink. I say “used to” since stockyards seem to be a thing of the past…

Oh, and let’s not forget it’s greatest surprise – Brandon Wegher!

www.wegherfootball.com

Hopefully, we will all be pleasantly surprised when he plays at Iowa.

by CapitalHawk on Dec 15, 2008 9:11 PM CST up reply actions

Sorry Rambler

You can’t imagine what you’re missing. City of 5 smells, Sewer City, et al. I brought friends from Austin, TX to an Iowa game years ago (tOSU/Iowa game on Halloween, cold, rained buckets, tOSU 55-10 or something equally horrifying) – the look on their faces when they hit the south side of Cedar Rapids with Penick & Quaker going full bore; they’ve never given any hint they want to return, and we don’t really laugh about it, yet.

by txhawkeye on Dec 15, 2008 4:41 PM CST up reply actions