OPENTHREADNEATGAMELIVE: MORE LIKE CHODE-RUNNERS
by Adam Jacobi on Nov 17, 2008 7:00 PM CST
in Iowa Hawkeyes Basketball
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PrintTexas-San Antonio Roadrunners at Iowa Hawkeyes, Nov 17, 2008 7:00 PM CST
(youtube unrelated)
Tipoff's in 10 minutes, game's on Mediacom Connections in Iowa for those of you "lucky" enough to have cable, and I'm sure Dolph and Mac will be there too, called the action as they drown themselves in gimlets.
Viewers and well-wishers, you know where to put the comments (up your ass! LMAOOOOOOOOOO), and I'll be around before halftime.
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Score is 25-21 Iowa
UTSA has Bob Huggins’ bastard son on their sideline. The nose and hair slick are dead giveaways.
AKA Shadow
I still hate Mac McCausland
Also, David Palmer apparently does in fact exist. That’s basically all I’ve gotten from this game. I guess I could talk about Tate and Fuller playing well so far, and the court vision of Matt Gatens, but we’re playing UTfuckingSA
Seriously, I would probably buy a Tony Fucker jersey
I mean, I know they don’t actually sell them with the name on the back, but I’d sow it on myself or something
Oh yeah -
Go to that link, and scroll down until you see the listing for the Iowa game. It works perfectly.
by Bucketochicken on Nov 17, 2008 7:46 PM CST up reply actions
Jesus Christ
If this is how Iowa handles UTSA’s press, we are superbuttfucked in the Big 10.
AKA Shadow
Well, yeah
I had sort of prepared myself for that already though. This is what happens when the only real point guards on the team are Jeff Peterson and the coach’s kid.
"Superbuttfucked"
Long lost Soundgarden album?
by Bucketochicken on Nov 17, 2008 7:48 PM CST up reply actions
Gatens is not 18 years old.
He is 25 and buying liquor for the rest of the team. 18 year olds do not look like that.
AKA Shadow
Correct me if I'm wrong
But did Mac just explicitly tell UTSA to “take out” Peterson the next time he goes into the lane? Does he know which team is which?
AKA Shadow
I don't think he even knows where he is
Did you hear his awkward 10 minute ramble about golf earlier in the game?
I actually treasure
the fact that I no longer have the Mediacom connections channel and don’t have to watch this on my television. Although listening to Mac ramble on about nothing reminds me of Harry Caray.
Exactly.
There’s nothing endearing about a 60-something man who looks like Cloris Leachman rambling incoherrently about… stuff. With Harry it was funny and charming, with Mac, it just kinda makes you itchy and nervous.
by Bucketochicken on Nov 17, 2008 7:58 PM CST up reply actions
WHOOOO 14 year old Green Day songs
Actually the fact that Dookie is 14 years old makes me feel old. Thanks a lot, Iowa Band.
I have no idea why I’m still watching this.
Oh yeah.... I knew I recognized that.
Green Day. Heh. Rock on, 1994!!
by Bucketochicken on Nov 17, 2008 7:57 PM CST up reply actions
How many years in a row have we played UTSA anyway?
I feel like at least 15. It’s almost at the point where it may challenge our epic rivalry with Maryland Eastern Shore.
I've mentioned that they're playing UTSA, right?
Anyway, if you want to draw anything from that, the inside guys look good, Tony Fucker is having a decent bounce-back game, Gatens isn’t scoring but is clearly the best passer on the team, and we have no one who can reliably get the ball up the court against a press.
One assist that won't show up
UTSA left someone so insanely open that Gatens was pointing at him, then Tate(?) hit him for a three.
AKA Shadow
He's been balding is the goofiest looking way for four years now
He can’t even go bald right
Just looking at the schedule...
Our first road test is at The Citadel? What the hell? Are we that pathetic that we have to go home and home to The Citadel on the schedule?
by shada's revenge on Nov 17, 2008 8:10 PM CST reply actions
Good to see
that we still remember how to blow a double digit lead to start a half
by shada's revenge on Nov 17, 2008 8:12 PM CST reply actions
Let me ask this
Jesus Christ, how bad is the WWE now?
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
I stopped caring when Hillbilly Jim retired.
by Bucketochicken on Nov 17, 2008 8:15 PM CST up reply actions
Don't look now
but he might be back
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:16 PM CST up reply actions
I love that having Michael Buffer doing ring entrances is a selling point
And Joe Frazier might be in the building!
Come on, Prairie Meadows, I think we all know the Hector “Macho” Camacho sells himself.
I have a joke, people
What did Helen Keller say when Thomas Hobbes gave her an abacus for Christmas?
AKA Shadow
Hey watch it
They prefer to be called persons with disabilities… but never underestimate the hilarity of teaching people with mental retardation and hearing them call someone else a retard.. I have never laughed so hard in my life
by shada's revenge on Nov 17, 2008 8:21 PM CST up reply actions
Mac just claimed
that a guy was good at basketball because he was from Philadelphia, and they have tough guards in Philadelphia.
AKA Shadow
Good a reason as any
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:20 PM CST up reply actions
Jermain Davis tries to kill a cheerleader with a pass
and succeeds.
Jessica Taylor 1989-2008 :-(
AKA Shadow
I think you're confusing your Herkies
Basketball Herky is a gentleman. Football Herky, however, is a total whore.
We're actually a perennial powerhouse.
by Bucketochicken on Nov 17, 2008 8:22 PM CST up reply actions
Consider it done
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:24 PM CST up reply actions
What are you, 66 years old?
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:24 PM CST up reply actions
Almost half that.
I have no idea what they’re doing there either.
by Bucketochicken on Nov 17, 2008 8:25 PM CST up reply actions
I am not having much luck getting this paper done.
Who the fuck schedules grad school during football & basketball seasons? Can’t they have that shit go from April-August only? What the hell?
[slow clap]
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:26 PM CST up reply actions
But really
If people can’t get your show to work for almost a half hour, it is a fair comment to say your software is “made of human shit.”
AKA Shadow
In WWE News
the son of one of the Wild Samoans is about to get the crap kicked out of him. I feel old.
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
Is it Survivor Series?
I’ve been watching this for exactly half an hour, and I can tell you Cena will win the championship and Orton will fight him at the next one.
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:27 PM CST up reply actions
Congratulations
You are now caught up on the last 5 and 1/2 years of storylines!
by The Nihilist on Nov 17, 2008 8:29 PM CST up reply actions
What they've done with Chris Jericho should be a capital offense
He used to be hilarious.
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:30 PM CST up reply actions
The son of Dusty Rhodes is out there too!
However, there is a conspicous lack of polka dotted tights, which makes me think they might be lying.
Oh shit, now Cowboy Bob Orton’s kid is there! Thank god he didn’t inherit his father’s permanently broken arm.
Cowboy Bob Orton = Dan Doering
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:28 PM CST up reply actions
No Lie
The guy who cuts my hair in Mpls is Dustin (Dusty) Rhodes.
by DowntownmplsHAWK on Nov 17, 2008 8:32 PM CST up reply actions
We have more than 50 points?
Must be like 1:30 left eh?
by shada's revenge on Nov 17, 2008 8:29 PM CST reply actions
Todd Lickliter is one step closer to a drinking problem
Three Iowans converge on a rebound on a free throw, knock it out of bounds.
AKA Shadow
Haha, you guys know what would be funny
If they made lots of Wile E. Coyote reference. Get it? Cuz we’re playing the Roadrunners.
If we don't clean it up on the press
They are going to say meep meep as they blow past us
by shada's revenge on Nov 17, 2008 8:32 PM CST reply actions
Jesus Christ that was stupid
sorry guys
by shada's revenge on Nov 17, 2008 8:32 PM CST up reply actions
Have we not ever seen a press?
I’ve seen fifth grade YMCA teams deal with full-court pressure more effectively
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
One thing to keep in mind
This is still a really, really young team. Here’s a complete list of players who have been at Iowa more than two years:
Cyrus Tate
JR Angle
AKA Shadow
Where's Seth Gorney when you need him
by shada's revenge on Nov 17, 2008 8:35 PM CST up reply actions
Pretty liberal definition of "player" there, OPS
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:35 PM CST up reply actions
"They're getting demonstrative after the call"
10 players on the floor, not one knows what “demonstrative” means.
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
If I cared about Iowa basketball anymore
I would be throwing things
by shada's revenge on Nov 17, 2008 8:38 PM CST up reply actions
I didn't know he had any eligibility left
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:39 PM CST up reply actions
Oh, that's it, lack of preperation
I mean, you don’t just waltz into the gym and beat The University of Texas-San Antonio, people.
He gets a pass for having an awesome name
Also a really pretty jumper, but mostly because of the name.
Iowa now getting to the line more
which is fine with me—they don’t seem to be the nightmares at the stripe that Iowa was last season.
AKA Shadow
Yeah
it’s virtually unwatchable, for a number of reasons
Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."
by Patrick Vint on Nov 17, 2008 8:45 PM CST up reply actions
Probably cause of the millions of fans nationwide watching at the same time
Iowa is the Dallas Cowboys of the NCAA.
AKA Shadow
Jesus Christ
Don’t let anyone other than Gatens touch the ball.
Don't worry
We’ve got the cool, steady hand of Jeff Peterson to guide the team up th…oh god why
Jake Kelly is one of our defensive stoppers?
Jesus Christ
That last call was a gift.
Because the ball was definitely off Iowa.
HAHAHA JESUS FUCK, JR ANGLE IS BALDING
AKA Shadow
He's been slowly balding in the goofiest-looking way for four years now
Motherfucker can’t even lose his hair right
71 points?
this may be our highest output for the season
by shada's revenge on Nov 17, 2008 9:03 PM CST reply actions
WHOOOOOO HAWKS WIN HAWKS WIN
EAT IT YOU ROAD RUNNING SONS OF BITCHES
This season is going to suck so bad
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