Last Saturday I had to miss the game (inexcusable) due to my participation in the 2008 Annual Beer Olympics (forgiven.)  I DVR'd the game so I could watch it later and left my phone at home so as not to receive text updates on the game every 10 minutes from drunken butthole friends. 

I made it through the whole day without anyone talking football and got a ride home late evening (with gold medals - see thumbnail).  Of course as my luck would have it, the first thing my ride said to me as I got in the goddam car was "so the Hawkeyes lost, huh." 

FUCK!!!!

So after thanking them for the ride and telling them politely to eat a small bowl of dicks for ruining the game for me, I crashed on the couch and mentally prepared myself for 2 hours of frustration and butthurt.  As you know, the first half went precisely as I had expected.

Then in the second half, a perculiar thing happened.  I waited and waited for MSU to break the game open.  I waited for a 60 yard Ringer touchdown.  I waited for a Stanzi pick-six.  I waited for a blocked punt.  It never came. 

What did come was Shonn Greene busting through the line like a motherfucking dumptruck.  And a whole bunch of Michigan State three and outs.  And Andy Brodell catching a nicely placed 31 yard touchdown pass.   

Sometime during the 4th quarter, probably near the 8 - 10 minute mark.  Something happened in my head.  My brain temporarily shut down and I went into some weird auto-pilot mode.  The Hawkeye fanatic inside of me took over the controls. 

Like I said before, I had already been told the Hawkeyes lost.  But all of sudden this 'prior knowledge' that I possessed came into question.  Could I trust the source?  Were they saying it just to torture me?  Did I owe this person money?  Had they simply mis-read the score as it scrolled across the bottom of the screen?  Maybe Iona lost to McNeese State.   Were they telling me the Hawks lost just so that when I saw they actually won I would maybe shit my pants in excitement?

With all of these thoughts (which slowly became facts) running through my head I came to what I felt was a logical and quite obvious conclusion:

THE HAWKEYES ARE GOING TO FUCKING WIN!!!

I honestly believed that all the way up to that 4th down play.  Amazingly enough it didn't even cross my mind that the game was going to end on that play.  My blinders where on so tight that all I could see was Greene rumbling through the defense and into the endzone for the game winner. 

In hindsight, there is nothing in the Hawkeye's recent history that should have led me to believe they were going to pull it out.....which, of course, is a gentle way of saying I'm a goddam idiot.