The Takeaway: Wisconsin

ALL-SHONN GREENE EDITION

Touchdown #1. Yes, we're showing all of them.

Sure, Iowa just rocked the Badgers' world, 38-16. But how much do we really know? What was really important about beating Wisconsin? What does it all mean, Basil? The Takeaway has the answer.

Yeah, we're jocking Greene, and why not? He just put up Iowa's most dominant rushing performance in conference play since Sedrick Shaw put up 250 on Michigan State over a decade ago. So with all due respect to co-BXI Player of the Week Pat Angerer, this is Shonn's week on the Takeaway.

Touchdown #2. Or, as it'll be known, the moment Wisconsin completely gave up.

"Our manhood was took today." That was strong safety Jai Valai (not to be confused with jai alai, as the latter is actually capable of knocking someone down) to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, and whenever you kick an opponent's ass so hard that they admit total emasculation afterwards, my friend, you have done something very, very right.

Greene, obviously, was the primary ground weapon for Iowa, who went well over 200 yards on the ground for the second week in a row. And for as many tacklers as he ran through, he often wasn't even touched until getting 5, 10, or even 15 yards past the line of scrimmage.

Or, say, not touched at all. Touchdown #3.

But this is more than just a "way to go offensive line" item, because there's something quite peculiar about all four of Greene's touchdowns. Seth Olsen, the starting right guard, went down late in the week with a sprained ankle, and junior Andy Kuempel was making his first collegiate start in his stead. Meanwhile, on the left side of the line stood CNN/SI's only underclassman midseason All-American, Bryan Bulaga. And yet, on all of his scoring runs, Greene ran right. Three of those runs were directly behind Kuempel. We're not saying Olsen should be benched or anything, but Kuempel was exemplary at peeling off his double-teams and blocking at the second level, and that makes a tailback's job so much easier. Greene spent his postgame interview hyping up his line for a reason, you know.

That toss sweep was pretty nice too. Remember how Derek Zoolander absolutely couldn't turn left, and would go to unnatural lengths to avoid doing so? That's basically the same way Iowa has approached running outside the tackle since, oh I don't know, forever. Then in the fourth quarter, Iowa leading comfortably, Green sprinted out of his tailback slot--again, to the right--took the pitch, easily navigated through two great blocks, and outran the rest of the Wisconsin defense for his fourth score of the game.

Nice tackling... if your name is Helen Keller. Touchdown #4.

Sure, Wisconsin was totally uninterested at that point, but it was a watershed moment all the same. By going after those edges--especially with such great blocking receivers--Iowa can place more and more stress on opposing OLBs, which encourages them to cheat up close to the edges and the LOS. That makes Iowa's bread and butter, the inside zone, all the easier to block for a patient rusher like Greene. We're not advocating equal doses of both, of course; as Smart Football explained, that's unequivocally not the point of those change-of-pace plays. But if the defense chooses to sell out to stop the inside rushes, they now know they do so at their own peril. We're just hoping this play wasn't analogous to Greg Helmers draining a 3 against Northwestern back in '97 or so. It worked well once, and it was never attempted again. Odds are better this tme.

We still haven't seen Greene at 100%. That statement is absolutely true, and it should scare the curl out of Ron Zook's pubes.

 No worries, dicksqueak, I'm clean!
 You're... what?
 TIN ROOF!
 RUSTED
 Oh god.
 It's the Z-52s, baby! WE ARE ROLLLLLIN!!!!111 You pumped???? Ehh broserph?? ROFLOLOLOL
 Can I get back to this article?
 Hit me back later! I'm drinkin!!!!!

Sorry about that. The upcoming bye week couldn't come at a better time for the Hawkeyes, as the lopsided nature of their last two wins belies a looming health concern. Greene has battled ankle injuries, conditioning issues (though he's already in far better shape than even a month ago), and cheap head shots from teams who evidently can't beat a good the right way. As Ferentz mentioned after the game, Greene was questionable all week, and he didn't even get back to practice until this past Thursday. So rest up, big man. After this weekend, it's probably going to be one more month of divebombing hell on your knees from now on. Right, Zooker?

 shit yeahz