BREAKING NEWS: FERENTZ CITED FOR ALCOHOL OFFENSE

It's true. Possession of Alcohol Under Legal Age. What? Hmm? Misleading headline? No sir, not at all; we're assuming everyone knows that we'd be talking about redshirting freshman center James Ferentz and not his slightly older, more famous, more "legal" father.

Seems that last night, James Ferentz was a passenger in a car that was pulled over in University Heights. For those who did not attend Iowa, one thing to note here--the University Heights police will pull anybody and everybody over. 2 miles over the speed limit? Didn't stop enough at the sign? Stopped too long? Black? That's all they need. We're not exonerating the driver or speculating on why they were pulled over, just noting that driving in that town for even one second was an invitation for trouble.

I digress. Apparently, we're not being given any more details yet, though they may come out later today, but after the traffic stop, Ferentz was the possessor of a brand new $145--is it still that, or did they raise it? Anyone?--ticket. This has caused Des Moines Register commenters, who make Rivals and Scout users look like Harvard graduates, are hysterically overreacting, saying that this is evidence that the program is spiraling out of control or something. Because of the coach's kid getting a PAULA.

Based on the evidence, here's how it went down: Young Ferentz got tipsy somewhere, probably not at home. He was getting a ride home, i.e. not driving. That's a good thing. The route to the Ferentz compound goes through University Heights, and it being 1:30 a.m., the UHPD was so happy to see a guest that they turned on their party lights and turned on their party sirens on their party car. Cop sees a very large man who smells of alcohol, checks ID, sees that very large man should not be smelling of alcohol. Ferentz obviously complies in a non-criminal matter, since there were no additional charges and no arrest, and then the world ends because he is an athlete.

Ferentz issued a statement and assured us that his son is basically fuxxxored for the next, oh, two months, and there'll probably be an uncomfortable dinner table a few times. Fair? No, grossly no, but such is a life of privilege. It's enough to make a kid start drinking.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker