Black Heart Gold Pants: An SB Nation Community

Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Pro Quality. Fan Perspective.
Login-facebook
New Blog: Voodoo Five for South Florida Bulls Fans!

IOWA WAS ONE INCH AWAY FROM 18-0 IN THE BIG TEN LAST YEAR

Bilde_medium

This is the face of perfection.

And that one inch just so happened to go across Jarryd Cole's ACL. Don't believe the insanely incendiary headline? I don't give a fuck, it's true. It's true because somebody way above my pay grade said it, so I'm in no position to question the truth. I'm not on that media filter tip, plus I have Iron Man on pause and I don't have three hours to spend trying to outthink anybody. 

Anyway, here's what we're dealing with. At media day earlier this week, somebody asked starting point guard Jeff Peterson a simple question: how many more games would Iowa have won with injured power forward (and new captain) Jarryd Cole. Peterson's response, we're sure, was completely serious:

Asked at Iowa’s basketball media day Monday how many more games the Hawkeyes would have won in the Big Ten a year ago with a healthy Jarryd Cole on the court, the sophomore guard served up a lightning-quick answer.

"All of them. We would have won all of them. We’re putting that all on Jarryd,’’ Peterson said, flashing a smile.

ALL OF THEM! Where's the national media on this? In no way could Jeff Peterson have been joking, because athletes don't joke. As small-time athletes like us know, we've been in locker rooms, and they're more somber than a Supreme Court hearing. And that's after wins

But Jarryd Cole is back, and GOOD LORD is he ready for play. I don't know what you were like at 19 years old, but it sure as shit wasn't this:

Lickliter said Cole has run a mile around 5 minutes, 30 seconds, usually where Lickliter wants his guards to run.

"When you say 'a hundred percent,' I'd like to be his hundred percent. I'd be pretty good," Lickliter said. "I think he's bench pressing over 300 pounds."

JESUS TITFUCKING RUSTY TROMBONING CHRIST, PETERSON WASN'T LYING. Jarryd Cole, at 6'7", 250 pounds, is a fucking freak of nature and we think he earned his captain's role by eating Tony Freeman without chewing. Go on, tell Cole he doesn't deserve to be a captain. See what happens. We'll even call your parents to tell them the bad news while Cole picks your intestines out of his teeth with a utility pole. Casey McMillan, I never thought I'd see the day, but you have met your match. Also, please do not kill me.

So this is it, Iowa. 18-0 is your benchmark for 2008. We'll take your word for it in April how you've done (champions, undoubtedly); it's not that we're fans, it's that we'll be spending the entire season in our bunker, fearful of the nuclear weapons necessary to stop the threat to the world that is Jarryd Cole.

0 recs  |  Comment 2 comments |

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Display:

I now understand

why McMillan can only play football. Carver can’t withstand that structural damage from opposing point guards being thrown through support beams.

by chitownhawkeye on Oct 17, 2008 1:16 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Plus the court is below ground level...

…which would mean it’s therefore too close to the Earth’s core for Casey to be running back & forth on top of it. Could cause massive volcanoes on the other side of the world, and disrupt the Earth’s orbit if he jumps too much. Better safe than sorry, you know.

by Bucketochicken on Oct 17, 2008 3:38 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

If you don't love it or leave it, USA, Number 1!
Start posting about the Hawkeyes »

Join SB Nation and dive into communities focused on all your favorite teams.

Connect_with_facebook

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recommended FanPosts

Iowa-state-logo_small
Winning the Battle, But Losing the War
Tfj_small
Stanzi IS, by any measure, the Manzi
Cairo_small
Stanzi Will Outlive Us All

Recent FanPosts

B26_small
Stop Saying Bruce Pearl
1971_hawks_helmet_small
Fun way to F* with the coaching search
Avatar_small
Taking Caring is Creepy to the next level
N14831407_39570466_1186_small
Legend of Americanzi continues to spread...
B26_small
Moneyball
Bob_sanders_iowa_small
Breaking News - Comments about Lickliter's future.
Addie3_small
There is always schadenfreude
Jr_angle_face_small
The basketball season - in song form
Kcrg_news_iowa-football_small
As long as we are talking football.

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >

SBNation.com Recent Stories

Butler guard Ronald Nored reacts while playing Davidson in the second half of an NCAA college basketball game in Indianapolis, Saturday, Nov. 14, 2009. Butler won 73-62. (AP Photo/AJ Mast)

Butler Uses Big Second Half To Pull Away From UTEP, 77-59

Kansas State forward Jamar Samuels, right, is congratulated by teammate Curtis Kelly, left, during the second half of an NCAA college basketball game at the Big 12 tournament Thursday, March 11, 2010, in Kansas City, Mo. Kansas State defeated Oklahoma State 83-64.(AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

Kansas State Dominates From Beginning To End, Gets BYU In Second Round

Saint Mary's center Omar Samhan (50) grabs a rebound as Hawaii center Paul Campbell looks on in the second half of an NCAA college basketball game Friday, Dec. 25, 2009, at the Diamond Head Classic in Honolulu. Saint Mary's defeated Hawaii 84-75. (AP Photo/Eugene Tanner)

Samhan's 29 Points Leads St. Mary's In First Round Win Over Richmond, 80-71

More from SBNation.com >


Managers

Mcqueen_small Hawkeye State

Anchower_small Adam Jacobi

Stains_small jebushchrist

Editors

Editorinchimp_small RossWB

Authors

Images_small StoopsMyAss

Spitzenhofen_small Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride

Official Partner of CBS Sports