LIVEBLOG: Iowa at Purdue: E'Twaun's Revenge
by Adam Jacobi on Jan 30, 2008 6:04 PM CST
in Iowa Hawkeyes News
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PrintAmazingly, "E'Twaun's Revenge" is not the title of poorly executed Star Wars fan fiction; we're referring to the phenomenally named E'Twaun Moore, star freshman guard for the Boilermakers.
We'll be popping in from time to time to offer our thoughts, which we cannot guarantee will even be remotely related to the game itself. I'm here for the tip*, Jebus will be here later to give us his pants status, and HS... who knows. Par for the course, really.
Anyhoo, speaking of poorly executed fan fiction, please enjoy Full Life Consequences. You think Tony is their third, younger brother?
*that's what she said.
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I'll take this opportunity
to reaffirm my undying love for Gary Dolphin. By the time Iowa's losing by 11 halfway through the first half, he'll be sauced. Drunk Dolph is entertaining Dolph.
For those who wanted dick
The State of the Union was Monday.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 6:18 PM CST up reply actions
One-upping the Virus
Jeff Peterson has borrowed Jake Christensen's everything tonight.
3 TO's in 6 minutes is spectacular in its idiocy.
As a Penn State fan...
...I used to love games like this. "Hey! We're on pace for 20 total points and we're only down three right now!"
It was seriously a miracle when Penn State scored more than 25 points in the first half. That was my single criteria to decide whether I should bother with watching the second half.
Another sad March for me.
by Run Up The Score on Jan 30, 2008 6:24 PM CST up reply actions
I'd say the Purdue strategy is pretty obvious
Collapse on the virus, try to contain the contamination.
Nice call
but it's Jebus, not Jaysus. Der...
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 6:23 PM CST up reply actions
It
was time for his sniperism. He's got great spurtability.
by jebushchrist on Jan 30, 2008 6:24 PM CST up reply actions
I think
If you look at Iowa, they tend to do well against weak offensive teams. Now that we've got the early jitters out of the way, I think we're going to take control.
by jebushchrist on Jan 30, 2008 6:25 PM CST up reply actions
see this?
This is me actually breaking down the game.
Hope you enjoyed it!
by jebushchrist on Jan 30, 2008 6:40 PM CST up reply actions
Hooray for full disclosure
In more ways than one.
by Run Up The Score on Jan 30, 2008 6:26 PM CST up reply actions
I'm wearing two pairs of pants
Just for protection. And warmth. It's fucking cold.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 6:29 PM CST up reply actions
It's hard to tell
who's most disgusted: Lickliter, Dolph, the fans, or the basketball gods.
I like this "make the 3s we shoot" strategy.
I don't want to speak for him
but it totally pissed me off. Intifada on The Big 11th! Death to the infidels!
Iowa's shooting 7/11
Imagine if they weren't giving the ball away on half their possessions. Good heavens.
I love how irate the Purdue fans are. To hear Dolph and Hansen call it, everything is going normally.
Sort of.
I mean, Guantanamo Bay's still in Cuba, right?
by Run Up The Score on Jan 30, 2008 6:42 PM CST reply actions
"Matt Painter calling for the carry"
or waving Dave Roberts home. Either way, ineffective.
Tony Freeman is the complete opposite of the last two years.
He's reminding me of somebody.
Remember the last overly muscular guard who put Iowa on his shoulders?
(not Pierre)
Are you implying
Every day is Dre day?
Surely you don't mean DeanO.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 6:47 PM CST up reply actions
He's CLEARLY
the guy who makes this team go. He was gone for long enough that Iowa has no shot at the postseason, but this team is pathetic without him, and competent with.
There's no doubt about it
And you can't tell me, after watching him the last two years, this could be expected in any way, shape, or form.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 6:51 PM CST up reply actions
Not at all
He was out of control in all facets of the game. It's unbelievable what he's done with decent coaching.
Are you invoking Dre?
I heard you wanna fuck with dre
You picked the wrong, motherfuckin day
Here we go, toe to toe, flow for flow
Let me know if you think you can fade death row
by jebushchrist on Jan 30, 2008 6:47 PM CST up reply actions
You better bow down on both knees
Who you think taught you to smoke trees
Who you think brought you the o' G's
Eazy-E's Ice Cube's and D.O.C's and Snoop D O double G's
And a group that said muthafuck the police
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 6:50 PM CST up reply actions
on the Purdue bench
I just noticed that assistant rocking a mauve shirt under a gold jacket. That's an outstanding look over there you shiny headed bastard.
This game
Is horribly ugly and absolutely the only way we can win this thing.
If I might make a suggestion, it would be that we take the ball to the hole once or twice.
Makeup call
That was bullshit...OK, on review, maybe not. That elbow was thrown with purpose, if not accuracy.
That was a mere trap
Despite Dolph's best description of his off-season exploits.
Hate to be the hater, but we've had a couple of calls go our way in the first half.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 6:56 PM CST up reply actions
no
But, did you see Curt Angle on Pros Vs. Joes?
(of course you did)
by jebushchrist on Jan 30, 2008 6:58 PM CST up reply actions
I've been wondering for months
Is she cross-eyed?
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 6:59 PM CST up reply actions
Here ya go, Jebus
http://www.margareteasley.com/
See ya after the half.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:04 PM CST up reply actions
I swear to Jebus
That Keady just said "restrooms" and "reacharound" in the same sentence there.
Iowa: 14 turnovers, 15 shots
Nice.
I'm guessing
That picture is him watching another guy piss.
by Run Up The Score on Jan 30, 2008 7:15 PM CST up reply actions
I run a megachurch!
I can't be going for the reacharound!
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:05 PM CST up reply actions
Which reminds me
Ted Haggard got busted doing meth with that gay hooker while I was living in Denver, and I remember thinking, "why the fuck didn't anyone tell me that Denver was so much fun?" Colorado is a thoroughly fucked up state.
I like Iowa much more. Even though I've only driven through it and never spent the night there, I have a lot of good, weird Iowa memories. Like that weird organic farm restaurant in Waukee, and almost getting hit by a fucking tornado near Leclair.
by Run Up The Score on Jan 30, 2008 7:12 PM CST up reply actions
If it weren't for the TV/radio delay,
I'd be listening to Drunk Dolph. BTN hasn't quite landed the basketball talent you'd expect just yet.
...
Announcer #1: Do you think the first couple of minutes of the second half will tell us how the rest of the half will go?
Announcer #2: The first half was defense and turnovers, and I don't think the second half will be too much different.
Captain Obvious makes an appearance.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:12 PM CST up reply actions
lordy
I like the adjustments we made at the half. 20 seconds into the 2nd half, we have Gorney pivoting wildly, 35 feet from the basket with everyone standing around awestruck. TO TIME!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
[goes to liquor cabinet to get drink for other hand]
Are you talking about the game
Or is Kruk on ESPN?
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:19 PM CST up reply actions
uhhh
The officials decided to grab hold of this game.
Thanks, guys.
by jebushchrist on Jan 30, 2008 7:27 PM CST up reply actions
Dolph
Dolph will lodge a complaint during the first half. But in the second, he's usually too busy ordering another round and telling Bobby Hansen how much he loves him to make too much noise.
JJ
Does not look comfortable down there in the paint. Even when he's unguarded he looks like an abused animal when he sees a guy lift his hand.
The Iowa band director
thinks Purdue is going way too new by playing the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. More Steve Miller Band!
Don't Knock The Joker
I will not stand for SMB mockery!
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:32 PM CST up reply actions
7:31 is Gorney Time?
I always thought it was half past ugly...
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:34 PM CST up reply actions
or dribble around for 25 seconds
and rifle the ball out of bounds.
by jebushchrist on Jan 30, 2008 7:35 PM CST up reply actions
see that?
That is what I am talking about.
Loooooooooooooooooooobbbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!
by jebushchrist on Jan 30, 2008 7:42 PM CST up reply actions
Sausage fest
My brother just commented that there aren't too many girls at Purdue.
We're now calling it "Purdude"
Peterson
needed to shoot that one, but at least we're getting into the paint.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:44 PM CST up reply actions
No
He's actually ordering some pussy for after the game.
by jebushchrist on Jan 30, 2008 7:46 PM CST up reply actions
As in "Oprah's va-jay-jay"?
I like The Soup.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:47 PM CST up reply actions
Harping*
I hate to keep up on this, but JJ looks like a skittish quarterback out there. He just quit on that three when a guy ran out at him.
- harping, not Harpring
They were 5-9 not long after the half
at least according to the BTN
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:47 PM CST up reply actions
This is Kige Ramsey for YouTube Sports
If you have anorexic, you should get tested.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:51 PM CST up reply actions
Worst Big 10 team in a decade
It's not even close. NW is horrible beyond words.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:53 PM CST up reply actions
Thank fucking god
we play them at home. Wait, we do play them at home, right?
by Bucketochicken on Jan 30, 2008 8:18 PM CST up reply actions
Jesus.
You can't give them a layup like that when you're down 3. Lickliter's going to rip Looby's jugulars out with his teeth.
Indecision
Our guards have been very indecisive passing the ball tonight (probably due to the Purdude defense). All the early time outs, now a 5 second call, all because we won't risk a turnover.
Donny
Frequent commenter Donny went to take a leak as the clock ran out on the 2005 Citrus Bowl.
We all know what he missed.
Bladder control is key.
by Patrick Vint on Jan 30, 2008 7:59 PM CST up reply actions
sucks
That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
by Bucketochicken on Jan 30, 2008 8:15 PM CST up reply actions
BTN
"The Big Ten got better when Iowa got Todd Lickliter."
"Iowa got an upgrade with Lickliter."
I think the BTN might have as much of a problem with Alford as we do.
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