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The Most Dominating Starting 5 in Big Ten History

Technically, these five gentlemen never started as one--you can thank Luke and Reggie, then Greg and Jeff--but God, they should have. Yes, we cheer for all-conference players the hardest, but we love and cherish awkward motherfuckers forever.


The only thing missing is weakness.

I have to be totally honest: I miss all five of these guys in their own way. Especially Sondy.

I have two favorite Sondy stories. The first is his fifth-degree theft charge. Theft isn't funny, but getting busted for driving over a curb instead of paying parking fees at the dental lot is AWESOME.

The second was at Vito's way back when. Pretty sure it was Vito's. We're walking through there, and on the dance floor, we spot Sondy (not hard to do, he's 6'9"). He looks shitfaced: his eyes are barely open, he's grinning like an idiot, and he's slouched over. As a matter of fact, the only thing that appears to be keeping him, um, upright is a young lady who's enthusiastically grinding her ass against him while he rests his head on top of hers. Here's a diagram to illustrate (WARNING--OPS is not an artist):


My only regret is that I don't know how to animate this.

I fucking miss Sondy.

0 recs  |  Comment 12 comments

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Failed boy band "Triple Stuffz", in happier times.

by jebushchrist on Jan 16, 2008 12:21 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Brain is farting... also, thinking.

Who's the dude on the far left?

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New nickname for Seth: "Gornderleiter."  Maybe even with a definite article in there?  I like it.  

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Most awkward white guy ever at Iowa?  Les Jepsen, Acie Earl and Wade Lookingbill might disagree.

by Bucketochicken on Jan 16, 2008 6:39 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Chauncey.

Never mind.  Wait, right?

by Bucketochicken on Jan 16, 2008 7:29 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Acie Earl, sir?

By the way, this "most awkward whitey ever" nonsense begins and ends with Brig Tubbs, and I won't be accepting any other proposals.

by Adam Jacobi on Jan 16, 2008 10:01 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Sondy liked to Party

Great Pix. Last time I talked to Sondy, it was at Vito's and he was totally out of it. He appeared to be super dazed and confused. This was a year or 2 after he quit the basketball team too.

I will see your white boys and raise you 3. Jason Bauer, JR Koch, and Greg Helmers.

I heart bobby da hitman

by MacG on Jan 16, 2008 8:59 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

You retard.

Before Haluska, JR Koch was the last Hawkeye drafted in the NBA.

Helmers, however, is a mix of a polar bear and a dinosaur.

by Adam Jacobi on Jan 16, 2008 10:03 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Man.

You guys have no idea how much I wish we could make that group picture the BHGP logo. I'm willing to resort to fisticuffs over it.

by Adam Jacobi on Jan 17, 2008 8:07 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

And people ask me, why?
People stop me on the street and ask me why we allow anonymous comments here (not really). They don't understand that they're an indispensable part of this game. See that ^^^^, up there? That's why we allow anonymous comments. If forced to stop for 15 seconds to create a user ID and sign in, nuggets like that could be lost forever.
Also, I like to pretend that anonymous hero is just one guy.

by jebushchrist on Jan 17, 2008 9:43 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Smith

I got called for an technical foul for undercutting Jason Smith in a law school intramural game.  Son of a bitch tried to dunk on me.  He had to go down.

by Hawkeye State on Jan 17, 2008 11:01 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

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