IT'S GO TIME: I'M SORRY, MOMMA

Mistakes were made. So, you lost momma's house last week? How was I supposed to know Texas Tech was going to fire their DC? What do you want from me? This is a dirty business. Who got you momma's house in the first place? That's right, degenerate, it was me. Now, I was still 2-1 so let's take your rent money and get back in there and feed that addiction! Shall we?


Did we win?
Dunno.
Cool fire!

West Virginia @ South Florida (+7)

Couches burned in Morgantown last year after West Fucking Virginia lost to USF. I don't think Rich Rodriguez is going to take the Bulls lightly again. Last year, USF held Pat White and Steve Slaton to a combined 60 yards on the ground. South Florida is a great story but I think the lights will be a little too bright for them tonight and I see an offensive explosion coming from Noel Devine and the rest of the Mountaineers. Couches have never burned so brightly as they will in Morgantown tonight (see, they burn them whether they win or lose, home or road game, doesn't matter really, they just like fire). If I had a heart it would be with USF, but this is business, so take your change jar and put it all on the Mountaineers. They will easily cover the 7 and win by 3 TD's.


Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry, on a mountain high
 

California @ Oregon (-6)

Eugene is lovely this time of year but Cal isn't in town to see the sights and get high (presumably). The home team has won the last 4 meetings in this series. Jeff Tedford, a former Mike Bellotti assistant, is about to flip the script. Oregon hasn't really been tested this year and I don't think Dennis Dixon will hold up well under the pressure. He threw 3 picks last year against Cal in a 45-24 beating and I see more of the same here. Put your money on Cal, whom I see winning outright.


You won't see a picture of Jim Tressel on anyone's back.
 

Alabama @ Florida State (-2.5)

Yeah, that spread has been verified. I don't know what Florida State team they've been watching, but the one I've had the misfortune to see 3 times is ugly; I'm talking Chloe Sevigny ugly. Here's a fun fact - in 1893, Bobby Bowden was a freshman quarterback for the Tide. Yup. But he couldn't handle it, so he quit and transferred. Also, Florida State has never beaten Alabama and it's not going to happen this year either. Do you really think Satan is going to lose in consecutive weeks to an inferior opponent? No. This one will be like old people fucking. It'll be slow, messy, and no one will wanna watch. Go with the Tide to win and get Momma's house back. Trust me.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker