IT'S GO TIME: YAARRRRRR!!!!!

Let me start out by acknowledging your thanks for the Indiana pick last week. I know, I know, momma's got 4 houses now and when momma's happy, everyone's happy. But danger lurks this week. I saw a dozen games that looked easier than the drunken bachelorette with the most makeup. The tendency would be to take the bankroll and bet on all of them. Thankfully, I'm smarter than you and that's why you're here. We're still just betting 3 games and as always, bet as much as you want because these are all a slam dunk.

South Carolina @ LSU (-16.5)

LSU is the scariest team I've seen all year. After just watching them demolish Sean Glennon and Virginia Tech I pissed blood for a week. They have no weakness that I can see and are not to be trifled with. However, tOBC is a genius and I know he knows what to do to keep this tight. South Carolina is much improved on defense and with a gimpy Matt Flynn and no Early Doucet (awesome name, wonder where he's from?) I see this as a dogfight. I'm positively moist with the possibility of postulant Degenerate Gambling Hall of Famer Ryan Perrilloux playing. How'd you like to have your lunch money on LSU when you see Perrilloux take charge of the huddle with LSU lingering around the line? Woooweee! This is gonna be awesome.
Oh yeah, take South Carolina and all of those glorious points.

Arizona @ Cal (-15.5)

Cal is on a roll right now so one would think this is a trap game. One would be wrong. Arizona pissed on Cal's BCS picnic last season and Jeff Tedford isn't one to forget a slight (ask Phil Fulmer). Also, Arizona sucks. As part of his farewell tour as a Division I head coach, Mike Stoops is giving away points (24 per game) and yardage (420 last week in a loss to New Mexico) like party favors. Cal has a brutal Pac 10 schedule so they won't fuck around here. They will use a strong pimphand on Arizona. I would not be surprised to see the Cal starters in the game with a 5 TD lead in the 4th quarter. If you hate the Stoops family (and QUITE FRANKLY, who doesn't?) this is the game for you. Cal would be my "bet yo momma's house" team of the week, if not for this -

Texas Tech @ Oklahoma State (+6)

Texas Tech is going to rape Oklahoma State on Saturday. When I say rape what I really mean is they are going to have sex with them, repeatedly, against their will. They are going to chain Oklahoma State to a radiator for 210 minutes and demoralize them in such a way that the Cowboys will walk with a limp (and not the cool kind which connotes a swagger, or a swerve) for the remainder of the season. Oklahoma State gave up nearly 400 yards passing to Troy last week and this week they're facing TT's Graham Harrell who leads the nation in passing and Michael Crabtree who leads the nation in receiving yards and touchdowns. And that's not all! Mike Leach's band of pirates is also going to pillage the Cowboy offense as well. OSU's starting center, David Washington, is out for the season and after falling behind by 3 scores in the opening quarter, OSU QB Zac Robinson is going to be under siege for the remainder of the game. This is the most ridiculous spread I've seen all year. Take all your momma's booty and put it on the Raiders.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker