I know, I know, there are so many football demises to choose from, it's impossible to narrow it down to five - well - I'll keep the list recent - so as to impart my personal feeling on the hilarity of the demise. These are ranked primarily by how much I laughed during and/or after the the game.
- Iowa 40, Iowa State 21. September 13, 2003. Ames, IA
I had to include an Iowa victory on the list somewhere, and this game--the only time I can remember beating Iowa State and feeling more "happy" than "relieved."--is the best of the bunch. I was at Jack Trice for this one, sitting in an Iowa State section, and doing the I-O-W-A chant for about 15 straight minutes. All they had to do to stop us, is get their defense to actually stop our offense. To be fair, we were led by the unstoppable force Nathan "The Gazelle" Chandler at QB - so maybe I was being a bit mean.
Talk in Ames before the game was of another Iowa State win, and "6 in a row" signs seemed to be plentiful. At least until kickoff.
Memorable moments: The smell of Ames in my nostrils. That's about it. No one should go there more than once every two years.
Added benefits: This game made ISU 2-1. They would finish 2-10.
- Baylor 23, Iowa State, 13. October 8, 2005. Ames, IA
Baylor's first ever Big 12 road win. After 10 years of trying. Even Iowa beat Illinois on the road last year (JUUUUUUICE!). Greg Coleman led the way in rushing for the Cyclones. You can write your own joke there. Let me just say that one more time. Baylor. It just rolls off the tongue. I'm kinda disappointed they don't play this year.
Memorable moments: Was there a gatorade shower after the game? If there was, it would be that.
Added benefit: Iowa State was ostensibly a good team that year. They even tied for the Big 12 North title. They would have won the thing had they not blown the last game of the year against Mark Mangino's Kansas team. Which brings us to...
- Missouri 17, Iowa State 14. November 27, 2004. Ames, IA
Golden boy Bret Meyer only needed to not throw an interception against Missouri in overtime to keep Iowa State's shot at a winning conference record and the chance to get piss-pounded by Oklahoma in the Dr. Pepper Big 12 championship game alive. Not mention the GASP! outright Big 12 North championship. Ended with me laughing maniacally in my living room for about 10 minutes.
Memorable moments: The interception. The general ineptitude of Iowa State's office. The look of relief on Bret Meyer's face when he realized he could go back to Atlantic and recharge the batteries for awhile rather than get repeatedly concussed by OU's defense.
Added benefit: Listening to State fans claim that a share of the Big 12 North title (at 4-4) meant something. That was almost as funny as the game itself.
- Oklahoma 49, Iowa State 3. October 19, 2002. Norman, OK.
Iowa State was #9 in the country at the time, and led by "Heisman candidate" Seneca Wallace. His ending line gets its own line:
4-22, 43 yds. 3 INTS.
At least he was only sacked twice, right?
Memorable moments: Seneca's utter suckitude. For every pick he threw, he seemingly had two more that could have been. Also, getting to look at the big "9" next to "ISU" as Oklahoma racked up TD after TD.
Added benefit: Sent Iowa State's season into a tailspin, which is far from unusual (see #5). Also, where a typical Iowa State failure is only witnessed by a handful of lucky souls, this one was broadcast as the national ABC game - so the whole country could laugh with me.
- Northern Iowa 23, Iowa State 14.
Doesn't it just have to be? Doesn't it? What would Appalachian State do to ISU? Or Morningside? That said, I'm not going to be surprised if Iowa found a way to lose. Iowa State fans would make their list with only games against the Hawkeyes. Which is one reason (really the only reason) why I'm still a little bit scared.