Anton Chigurh in happier times
Anyone who knows the founding fathers of BHGP knows that our cause celebre is gambling.* In particular, we openly pray for the day when online sports gambling is legal, if only because the online prices are better and our knees remain unbroken throughout the season.
A little more than a year ago, former Iowa City Congressman Jim Leach snuck a bill aimed at destroying online gambling into a port security bill. It led to the widespread defection from the U.S. market of many online gambling houses (the day that Pinnacle Sports closed its doors to Americans, and cut me off from that tasty 3% vig on NFL games, I wept like Mitt Romney with a radio). A month later, the gambling bill also led to the defeat of Congressman Leach.
In the meantime, the World Trade Organization got involved. The European Union, a number of Caribbean countries, and Japan filed complaints with the WTO, arguing the US was keeping them out of the American gambling market in violation of trade agreements.
Legally novel? Absolutely. Legally successful? No, not so much. Sorry, fellow degenerates, but it's not looking like juicy juice will return anytime soon. And, now, if you'll excuse me, I have to call Jimmy Two-Times to get down on Navy +8.
Speaking of Mitt Romney (I swear, I'll never mention him again), it seems the occasionally pro-life, occasionally pro-choice** former governor most definitely did not live in a pink house. From this week's "Meet the Press":
I have to clear up the most egregious error in that (Boston Globe) article. It said my house is pink. I would not have a pink house, I assure you.
Before leaving the set, Romney was served with a Title IX complaint by Jill Gaulding. Gaulding now drives 700 miles round-trip to stand across the street from Romney rallies and express her displeasure with the homophobic and sexist statement made by the Republican candidate. How dare he!
(By the way, if anyone reading this lives at 505 E. Burlington St., you might want to watch out; Jill Gaulding might burn the place to the ground. You'll wake up one night to the smell of smoldering carpet and the sound of a former law professor singing "Fire Water Burn.")
Three Iowa seniors (Charles Godfrey, Mike Humpal, and Kenny Iwebema) have been invited to a variety of senior
meat markets all-star games. Godfrey, who is being mentioned as a first-day NFL draft pick (despite your typical NFL GM's Tom Knightmares), will be playing at the Senior Bowl in Mobile, AL. Humpal is going to Hawaii. Iwebema will travel to Houston.
Northwestern has named a new interim athletic director. He has no real athletic experience, so he should fit right into the Northwestern athletics program. Also, he is the long-lost twin brother of Arrested Development's Stan Sitwell.
That man in the center is definitely not the new Northwestern athletic director...OR IS HE?
Finally, Run Up the Score is my sworn adversary. He's an intelligent, well-spoken Penn State fan who inexplicably likes both Wilco and Son Volt (which is the musical equivalent of being both Sunni and Shi'ite). Nevertheless, his music posts are fantastic at worst and legendary at best, and this week features Christmas music. If you're like me (and you weren't summarily terminated for turning the 7th Floor Crew up to 11 on Monday), you are slowly going crazy because someone in your office won't stop listening to Celine Dion butcher the Christmas classics. Might I suggest recommending some "alternative" Christmas music, then dropping Kurtis Blow on the motherfuckin' office?
* - And Iowa sports. And tenacious defense. And dorm-produced hip-hop. And boobs. We really like boobs.
** - Romney refuses to say whether he is pro-"Life as a G"