"This is unwatchable."

So said Gary Dolphin during the first half of Iowa's 56-47 loss to Wake Forest. It wasn't the stuff of exaggeration, either; Iowa scarcely had more points in the first half (17) than turnovers (14). Even the irresistibly boisterous Bill Raftery was left a muted, disinterested observer.

The learning process is obviously, and let's be polite, "continuing." A man much smarter than I compared learning Lickliter's offense to "learning Mandarin in two months." I wholeheartedly embrace that comparison; as a matter of fact, I'd like to think that not only is Lickliter teaching them an actual offense, but he's literally making them learn Mandarin as well. For one, it'd be a great code. Lickliter would have a devastating advantage in his ability to communicate with his players during the game, for starters. But combined with Seth Gorney's preexisting Eastern sensibilities, the humor grows exponentially; tell me you wouldn't like seeing the Gornstar running down the court yelling "WO SHI NI DE BA BA!!!"


YOGA HEADBUTT

Seriously, though, we still stand by the Lickliter hire, and we're hoping to see improvement throughout the season and afterwards. Obviously Dan Bohall isn't going to transform into someone who belongs on a basketball court for 20 minutes a game, and a winning record seems nigh impossible. But come February and March, don't be surprised if teams are dreading a trip to Carver. At the very least, the Hawkeyes will probably be making more than one-third of their free throws.

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