I wanted to hurry and post this before I found out it wasn't true. It's all over the internets today that JoePA went off in a road rage incident. I cannot tell you how happy this has made me. In the midst of the most disappointing Hawkeye Football season in my lifetime, it's the little things that keep me going. This incident brings up an endless number of questions:
- Was the dispute over a parking spot at a twilight diner?
- Was it a snack attack and thusly can be blamed on low blood sugar?
- How long did it take him to get out of his car and over to their car to scream and gesticulate at them? I mean, they couldn't get away from JoePa?
- How bad do you have to drive that an 80-year old man thinks you're a shitty driver?
- What is JoePa bumping around campus in, a DeSoto?
- Did he really drop the "don't you know who I am"? That is my favorite thing, possibly ever. If you have to ask, no, they don't know.
- Did he have a boner?
- Why is he driving at all (I always pictured him on a horse -- I don't know why)?
- Were they laughing?
- How did it end? Did he just run out of breath and shuffle away?
The hilarious thing is, people are saying "this simply cannot be true, JoePa wouldn't do that!" Are you fucking kidding me? Have you ever seen him? He's the angriest mother fucker I've ever seen in khakis and sneakers. He's a barrel-chested bundle of uncontrollable rage. Of course he did this. I know it is 100% (allegedly) true and god bless him for it.
We'll be tracking this closely and will keep you posted.