HEISMAN WATCH OR: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE HEISMAN


The Heisman doesn't really mean much to the general public these days. Through a series of unfortunate events (Andre Ware) it went from being awarded to "the greatest player" in college football to "the guy who gets his face plastered all over the worldwide leader on the team with the most wins in early December". This troubles me. Back when I was in shortpants it used to mean something. Does it mean anything anymore?

Here's the thing: the way this season has has played out on the field, it's given me an idea. maybe it's time for the Heisman race to get a facelift. Not saying we change the bust to resemble Tim Tebow, although, it would be to-die-for! OMG!, I'm thinking we go retro and give it to the best player. How do we determine this? That's where you come in. I'll list some candidates and you mention some of your own. It'll be fun!

The Pre-Season Favorites:

  • Darren McFadden -- Arkansas JR RB 822 YDS, 5.59 AVG, 7 TD, 137.00 YDS/G

Make no mistake, he is a man, but sadly, he's put up merely good numbers on a bad team. I still think he's the best back in college football but between splitting carries and Nutt busting him in the chops, he's got no shot.

  • Mike Hart -- Michigan SR RB 1078 YDS, 5.39 AVG, 12 TD, 154.00 YDS/G

I still don't see it. Probably because of my dislike for Michigan. I think he's a product of their system more than anything else. No one will vote for him after their first 2 games. Very good player, not a Heisman winner.

  •  John David Booty -- USC SR QB 1229 YDS, 64.4%, 12 TD, 8 INT, 137.26 QBR, 245.8 YDS/G

His name says "pirate" but his play says "pussy". He's not even a top 5 QB in the Pac 10. I've already spent too much time talking about him.

  • Colt Brennan -- Hawaii SR QB 2395 YDS, 69.5%, 20 TD, 10 INT, 157.15 QBR, 399.2 YDS/G

Great numbers! Undefeated team! Cool name! No way is he the guy. He's no longer even the poster child for gaudy passing statistics (see below).

The New Batch:

  •  Tim Tebow -- Florida SO QB 1455 YDS, 65.5%, 13 TD, 3 INT, 173.06 QBR, 242.5 YDS/G  -- 500 RUSH YDS, 9 TD

A freak of nature. However, I'm not sure if his prodigious talent hurts or helps his team. Florida has somehow become one-dimensional with his multi-dimensional talents. I blame this on Urb, but nevertheless, I get the feeling that Tebow's talent has cost his team some success this year. Give Urb another year with the Baby Rhino and we'll talk.

  • Andre' Woodson -- Kentucky SR QB 1786 YDS, 63.7%, 21 TD, 4 INT, 149.92 QBR, 255.1 YDS/G

He played badly in a loss against South Carolina on the big stage. I think that eliminated him from the minds of many voters. However, their win over LSU may have given him new life. His Heisman candidacy hangs in the balance. Tracking...

The Real Deals (guys who no one considered a month ago):

  •  Graham Harrell -- Texas Tech JR QB 3151 YDS, 74.4%, 31 TD, 3 INT,  178.38 QBR, 450.1 YDS/G

Just look at his numbers. Seriously. This guy is what the unenlightened think Colt Brennan is, and he plays on a good team, in a real conference. I know he has absolutely no shot at the award, but look at his numbers I say!

  • Michael Crabtree -- Texas Tech FR WR 78 REC, 1244 YDS, 15.95 AVG, 17 TD, 177.7 YDS/G

Speaking of numbers... are you fucking kidding me with this guy? Since I've been watching college football, I don't remember a time when one person was so far ahead of his peers statistically. If the award goes to the guy with the most impressive stat line, Crabtree is your man.

  • Matt Grothe -- South Florida SO QB 1121 YDS, 59.1%, 7 TD, 3 INT, 124.13 QBR, 186.8 YDS/G  -- 346 RUSH YDS, 4 TD

His numbers are not what you typically think of as Heisman quality, but if you watch this kid play, it's a different story. He also happens to be the key player on the #1 team in the country. He's the poster child for the "NO-NO-NO-YES!!!" player. He's plays like a sleepy 1-year old -- he always looks like he's just about to crash, yet through the grace of the football gods he does something spectacular. Exciting to watch and a trendy pick. Clearly, they need to stay unbeaten, but maybe, just maybe, he's the guy.

So there you go. I'll open it up now. Who you got?

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