Keeping The Man Busy, Week 7

Here's why athletic directors are frowning this week...

Sure, it's over a thousand dollars, but one year of CoachFran.com is far more intellectually rewarding than a decade of MILFHunter: It's rare that we get an opportunity to admonish a coach for breaking team rules, but my oh my did Dennis Franchione come through in a big way for not only Texas A&M, but you the reader as well.

Coach Franchione, in an effort to raise money? Something? had set up a (now defunct) website at www.CoachFran.com through an outside consulting service, and was selling accounts for the low, low annual price of $1,200. Seriously. What's worse, he actually had about a dozen people who signed up, and didn't find it necessary to report the income to his school or the NCAA, neither of whom have great senses of humor about this sort of thing. Worse, the nature of the secret emails, including unreported injuries and the like, would seemingly be of great interest to professional gamblers, another subject that the NCAA doesn't quite appreciate.

The athletic department has reported the violations to the NCAA and publicly "admonished" Franchione, a move that holds little sway here in the States, but would almost certainly require the penance of ritual seppuku across the Pacific. And considering the Aggies' lifeless 2007 campaign, College Station fans are starting to think those wacky honor-bound Japanese were probably onto something awesome.

As for the $1,200 yearly price, since Franchione A) was able to generate a dozen subscriptions, and B) sucks so bad, we've decided to set up a MEMBERS ONLY! section of BHGP. It will include detailed information on the gameday status of Jebus, HS, and myself, as well as insider information about what we had for lunch! Did we eat our veggies? Maybe! You'll be able to know for sure, all for only $9,995 a month! Sure, it seems ridiculously excessive, but if just one person subscribes...

Hey, speaking of things the NCAA don't much cotton to: Agents! And spiking the ball! But mainly agents!: Hey, remember when Reggie Bush won the Heisman? Not for long! Yahoo! Sports has released a particularly damning report detailing the embarrassment of riches heaped upon his family during his tenure at Southern California. The report, citing confidential e-mails and other documents, alleges that the Bush family received $280,000 in return for memorabilia and marketing deals set up by both the Bush family and the offending company in question, New Era Sports & Entertainment. It stands as the most thorough investigation done by a journalistic entity with an exclamation point in its name since CosmoGirl! broke the Downing Street Memo in 2005.

It seems increasingly likely that the NCAA will revoke Bush's Heisman, and may go so far as to vacate the Trojans' 2005 title, especially if it comes out that the coaches had prior knowledge of the wrongdoing. Proving such a fact would, in all likelihood, be nigh impossible, of course, so don't expect many further sanctions. Still, we're certain that Bush will be crying himself to sleep on his giant pile of trillion dollar bills, consoled only by four supermodels and a Lamborghini that can fly. Our deepest sympathies, Reggie.